Should your kids have a scheduled routine?
As a mom of two, I’d say yes. Having a structured daily and weekly routine for kids can make a world of difference; bringing balance, stability, and a sense of calmness to our lives. When there’s a set schedule in place, children can feel secure, knowing what to expect each day, while parents experience less chaos and more clarity around family time and responsibilities.
Routines aren’t just about brushing teeth or putting lunch pails away after school. A well-planned schedule goes much further, including homework, school projects, extracurricular activities, and even downtime. For our family, we started establishing routines early on, inspired by various parenting books, and adapted them as our kids grew. Now, with my children being 9 and 6, we’ve done several different schedules and experienced both the positives and occasional downsides of having a set routine.
A schedule isn’t a one-size-fits-all solution, but we’re constantly working to find that the right routine to help everyone stay grounded and keep our household running smoothly.
BENEFIT OF A SCHEDULED ROUTINE
Stability and Security
Like the adults, kids form an internal schedule based on daily routines and are sensitive to unexpected changes in their environment. Unplanned events or visits can disrupt their sense of stability, causing anxiety and insecurity. Having a predicable schedule provides children with stability and comfort, which reduces anxiety for everyone and helps us all manage our time more effectively. For instance, if my kids know in advance that their TV time will be replaced by a visit to their grandparents, they can mentally prepare for the change.
Offering clear guidance on daily tasks and giving advance notice of changes builds a foundation of trust and comfort between kids and parents.
Promote Independence & Responsbility
Routines help kids gradually master daily tasks and responsibilities, building their confidence along the way. Every Friday, we review the schedule for the upcoming week, discussing homework, practices, projects, visits, and any other events. With guidance, my kids have learned to divide their homework, mentally prepare for competitions, and organize their responsibilities. They now complete schoolwork, music practice, and household tasks without reminders, gaining independence and a sense of responsibility that strengthens their self-confidence.
Encourage Healthy Habits
Consistent routines around meals, sleep, and physical activity help establish lasting habits. Since my kids were little, we’ve maintained a consistent bedtime routine. Now that they’re older, they know to brush and floss twice a day and to turn off electronics by 8:30 PM.
Scheduled mealtimes also encourage healthier eating habits. For example, my kids have a set cutoff time for snacks, allowing a 2-3 hour gap before dinner, with no snacks afterward. They choose healthy foods like fruit, milk, or vegetables before indulging in sweets, and always wash their hands before meals. Starting these habits early increases the likelihood they’ll carry them into adulthood.
Support Academic Success & Time Management
Predictable schedules foster a stable and supportive environment, which is essential for helping kids manage their time effectively. When children know what to expect throughout the day, they can better prioritize tasks and stay focused during study time. This sense of structure also allows them to fully enjoy and unwind during their playtime, knowing that their responsibilities are under control.
By balancing work and relaxation, a predictable routine not only supports academic success but also promotes mental well-being, helping children feel more at ease and less overwhelmed by the demands of daily life.
Reduces the Need for Reminders
In our household, scheduled routines have been part of our lives since the birth of our first child. After nine years of consistency, everyone understands the routines and knows what’s expected of them. The kids are well aware of their responsibilities at home and school, which has drastically reduced the need for reminders from me.
While reminders are still more frequent with younger children, over the years, they become more accustomed to the structure. My daughter, now in first grade, is a great example—after years of practice, she knows exactly what needs to be done with just a casual reminder, without any anxiety. From brushing her teeth and tidying up her toys to completing her schoolwork, she follows the routine with ease.
Create Space for Relaxation
As part of their scheduled routine, my kids have dedicated time for hobbies and using electronics. We’ve intentionally set aside two specific time slots during the day for screen time, ensuring that these periods are respected just like homework time. We make a point to avoid interruptions during these sessions, giving them the freedom to engage fully with their chosen devices. Beyond screen time, the kids also have free time between tasks and daily care activities, giving them an opportunity to relax, pursue hobbies, or simply enjoy some downtime. This balance not only supports their personal interests but also helps prevent burnout by ensuring they have a mix of productive time and relaxation in their day.
THE DRAWBACKS
Inflexibility That Leads to Frustration
A scheduled routine is great because everyone knows what needs to be done, but unexpected changes can throw children off balance. This is especially true after they start preschool, as they begin to express their emotions more clearly. Any disruption can lead to frustration, tantrums, and stress.
Solution: To minimize stress, review the daily and weekly schedules with the kids once a week and educate them that changes are unavoidable. This gives the kids time to prepare for any changes, including reduced screen time or unexpected events.
Pressure on Parents
For parents, sticking to a routine can be overwhelming, especially on hectic days. Managing each child’s tasks, house chores, and meal prep can feel like a juggling act. Disruptions may lead to stress or guilt, which can sometimes spill over onto the kids. This can be even more difficult for dual-income households or those with parents who have unpredictable schedules.
Solutions: It’s important to be kind to yourself. Maintaining a routine is hard enough, so don’t be too hard on yourself when things don’t go as planned. Accept that changes will happen, and give yourself grace if things don’t go perfectly.
Restrict Creativity
While a structured routine is essential for healthy habits and academic success, it can unintentionally restrict a child’s creativity. If every hour is planned out, there’s little time for imaginative play, daydreaming, or self-discovery.
Solutions: While it’s important to stick to a routine, it’s also crucial to leave room for unstructured time. Allowing the children time to explore their own interests or simply unwind can be valuable for their emotional and cognitive development.
Not Accounting for Individual Needs
Forcing everyone to stick to the same routine can be challenging, especially with children of different ages and interests. For example, my son has Taekwondo twice a week, leaving my daughter to wait quietly for 45 minutes. Similarly, dinner time is set for 6:30 p.m., but if the kids are hungry earlier, they can’t eat anything until the meal is ready.
Solutions: Train your kids to adapt to the routine gradually. It’s important to prepare them for potential challenges and help them find ways to cope, like bringing something to entertain them while waiting or having a snack before the official meal time.